Ahh, Valentine's Day. Hearts, flowers,
boxes of chocolates and a strange half-naked little guy flying
around shooting arrows at people... what the hell is THAT all about.
Add to that, the jewelry store chains are already hitting us up with
commercials saying that if you don't shell out your next three
paychecks to buy pretty sparkly things you're a complete loser! No
wonder most guys are dazed, confused and running scared.
Here's a little help from our experts here at Babes
with Blades to help those of you trying to figure all this out
and this goes for both you guys AND you gals out there, listen up...
*First- Skip trying to send flowers to arrive on Valentine's Day
especially to an office. EVERYONE does that and the florists are
overloaded and charge you a premium.
*Second- Unless she's really into it, skip the silly
lingerie that looks like it was made out of smoke and feathers. It's
the middle of winter and she would probably prefer to wear cotton
flannel instead. More about this later.
*Third- Chocolates. Yes, the big goofy red heart with
the cupids on it at the grocery store looks great, but mostly
they're filled with orange surprise and green surprise. Also, they
have too much loaded into them. Yes, she will enjoy eating all of
them and then you get to hear her complain about gaining all that
weight.
Can't win on any of this, can
we......................WRONG! Now class, get ready to take notes.
*Flowers. If you want to
send your Sig-Other flowers, send them several days early especially
to an office. This gives the recipient a chance to show them off to
their to their co-workers and making them envious. You get
extra points for this alone. Don't go overboard. A single dozen with
a note works great and add a balloon if you like. Ask her to bring
the balloon home with her after Valentine's Day and if she's not
into saving little things like that, go outside, tell her to make a
wish, share a kiss then let it go and watch it drift off. Your wish
just might get answered.
*Timing. This year, Valentine's is in the
middle of the week. No problem. Just give them a card saying that
Valentine's Day is for amateurs and the following weekend (or
whenever you can work out the schedule for it) is just for the two
of you.
*Location, location, location. Just like
in real estate, location is a key element in romance. Don't try to
make your move with the kids playing video games in the next room.
Set things up to send the little buggers off to Grandma's or their
friend's house. Hotels are great and they also have weekend "Romance
Getaway" packages that toss in flowers and candy. You also get loads
of extra points if you've got a fire in the fireplace going. No
fireplace? No problem... candles.... lots of them.
*Food is important. A fancy meal is nice,
but don't eat too much. Try sharing a single meal together. This is
also a great tip for you guys who are on a budget. Naturally, go for
the chocolate desert and you can't go wrong. If a fancy meal can't
be worked out, cook something yourself (and do the kitchen clean up,
too... even more points) or bring something you both enjoy home.
Hell, pizza by candle light blows the hell out of dinner at a noisy
restaurant every time.
*What to drink. Forget the Tequila
shooters and stick with wine. What type? Well we've found that a
good Merlot or Champaign goes the best with (you guessed it)
chocolate. Try the two bottle method, one for the warming up and one
to cool down with.
*What to listen to and/or watch.
Naturally, your object of desire's favorite tunes are first on the
list. This is personal and unique to everyone. If video is your
thing, do NOT start off with the DVD you bought of "Sorority
Sisters Gone Wild". Save that for later. To get things started on
the right note we greatly suggest "The Princess Bride". OK
guys, stay with me on this for a moment. If you haven't seen this
flick, it's got everything... love, humor, romance and some of the
best damn sword fighting scenes in film history! If this movie can't
get you started in the direction you want to go, then just plain
hang it up! Trust us on this one.
*Chocolate. Never forget the chocolate
(unless, of course, there's an allergy or some other problem... then
you're on your own). Remember what we said about that huge box of
grocery store candy? Right... go for quality every time. A four to
six piece selection of truffles from one of the premier chocolate
shops will get you loads of points... especially when you SHARE
them. Stay with me for a minute, gals. The quality chocolates have a
much lower melting point so they really do "melt in your hands".
Good! Licking off melted chocolate from fingers and -ahem- where
ever else it might be is a lot more romantic fun than going face
down in a 150 piece assortment box loaded with more chemicals than a
high school chemistry lab. And remember, chocolate goes great with
that afore mentioned Merlot or Champaign.
OK, what have we covered so far... mood music and
location, food, wine, candles and chocolate. So lastly...
*What to wear. Remember what we said
about buying the lingerie that you fantasize she'll wear, but will
probably just put in the back of the closet? Let us help you out
here (by the way, our Production Manager used to work at Fredrick's
of Hollywood so she speaks from experience on this). You will get
much farther with a good quality, plush robe than anything else.
That's right guys, a Bathrobe, not the type with a weird
pattern on it, but a good deep solid color. Velour is good and a
really plush terry is great, too. You can buy a really nice one for
less than $50 so buy two, one for you and one for her. Most malls
have a shop that does embroidery so you might think about having
your names put on them if you like. Now here's the reasoning... that
robe is warm and "snuggly" and she'll be able to use it for months
to come and every time she does she'll be thinking of... wait for
it... YOU! That's right, instead of a once in a while "little
lace nothing" that will sit in the back of a drawer this is
something she'll (he'll) enjoy almost every day. On top of that...
it's the perfect outfit to wear while you are enjoying a romantic
evening of candle light, music, wine and chocolate. And remember no
matter what you chose to wear (or not to wear) under that robe... it
comes off in a snap!
Follow these guide lines for both Valentine's Day and any other
special occasion you may have (or hell, just make one up) and you
will have your name permanently engraved on the "Great Romantics of
the World" wall of fame! |
