Ohshee's Page

    We had a Staff Planning Session and Picnic down by the lake a couple of weeks ago to discuss business plans and future photo layouts. We had to leave earlier than we wanted because Moriarty punctured some kid's inflatable raft with a blow dart fired from a disguised blowgun. (We at Babes with Blades do not condone this type of behavior... especially since it got us kicked out of the park. However, the kid did moon us from offshore and the little bastard had it coming to him. Good thing we found out he could swim.)

    Before this unfortunate incident occurred, Ohshee (our guy in charge of all bladed things oriental) was eager to show off his new Ninja outfit he made himself. He had been working on it for over three weeks and despite a small accident with the sewing machine (the stitches should be out soon) was very proud of how it turned out. We were all starting to feel the effects of the wine that Skippy brought (does anyone know why he had peeled the labels off the bottles and wouldn't tell us where he got them?) so we agreed to let Ohshee try it out for us.

    We took the following three pictures with him standing practically dead center frame and we just could not see him in there!

    Needless to say, we were very impressed. Unfortunately, it was about this time that the kid on the raft mooned us and due to Moriarty's reaction we had to make a hasty exit. We left behind two six-packs, half a pizza, the cake and by complete accident (we swear!)... Ohshee. We went back as soon as we could, but either we couldn't find him or he didn't want to be found.

    In the past several weeks there have been sightings of a shadowy figure spotted around the lake and numerous reports of people's picnic lunches mysteriously disappearing. If you are out at the lake and happen to see a little guy wearing a funky pair of black pajamas would you please remind him he has an article or two due and to get his sushi eating butt back to the office ASAP!

Thanks-
The Staff of Babes with Blades

08/09/00 We have an update about our wayward staff member, Ohshee Yammato.

     It's been almost six weeks since we last saw Ohshee at our unfortunate lake outing and although we haven't seen him in person, we suspect he has been here at what we call "the office". About four weeks back we came in one afternoon and found his ninja style sword missing  from the place we mounted it on the wall. No one knew anything about moving it and the place is locked up when no one is here. We were starting to worry about our black pajama wearing staff member skulking around town with a sharp object when Moriarty informed us that he suspected something like this might happen and took the precaution of dulling down the edge and tip of Ohshee's sword so that now all it could be used for was cutting cheese. That was both a relief to hear and the source of numerous "cutting the cheese" jokes from Skippy. 

     Other signs that our oriental weapons "expert" is still around...

• Bills from several local sushi bars have been sent to us with his signature on them. He seems to like the "Harvest Moon" platter.
• His paycheck keeps disappearing from the lockbox in the office.
• We found an article from him on the desk about a site that gives an incredibly complete report on what to look for and to look out for in an oriental style blade which we will post in the near future. By the way, this site is tied to the "Highlander" sites and there is a new movie coming out in about a month.
• And lastly, this morning we came in to find this on our PC...

     It only took us a minute to figure out that the above symbol was Japanese for... you guessed it, Godzilla. Apparently ToHo, the studio that the big guy started with back in 1954, has signed  the original  Tokyo stomping, plasma belching radioactive lizard to a new film that will make it's American debut on Friday, August the 18th. When asked why he came out of his retirement, Godzilla replied that he thought his fans deserved more than the poor performance that was given by the French Iguana on steroids several summers ago. Click the above symbol to go to the official "Godzilla 2000" site and enjoy the trailer.

     One final word about our shadow lurking staff member. Friends, although it is true that Ohshee's ancestors came from Japan, Ohshee himself is about as Japanese as an American built Honda truck. He's third generation Oriental-American and when he does try to speak Japanese, it's with an east Texas drawl. For the most part, we think he has gotten a little too much into this  ninja warrior persona he's come up with and suspect it might be from watching too many rented "chop-socky" videos. Skippy and Moriarty have informed us that they have a plan to, as they put it, "drop a net on the boy" and try to de-program him. We'll let you know how this works out as things develop.

08/22/00 Missing "Babes" staff member finally caught!

    Last night (Monday) our missing staff member Ohshee was finally caught without incident at the multi-cinema on Jupiter road by Moriarty and Skippy. Knowing Ohshee's fondness of Tokyo's biggest movie star they had started going through the trash in the dumpsters behind the theaters which were showing the feature. They finally got lucky at the Jupiter multi-plex when Skippy found an empty take out box of Gun-Lee's fried rice and soy sauce packets in the trash that had been dumped from Sunday night. Monday evening the two returned and bought tickets to the 6:00 showing and took their seats. Being a Monday night, the crowd was light, but they could not spot Ohshee in the theater. Skippy had joked with Moriarty that all they would have to do was wait till they passed someone who smelled like raw fish and that would be our missing Ohshee. However, the smell of popcorn and nachos was strong and that plan bit the dust. They then moved on to "Plan B". They began to argue that the Tokyo stomping scenes in this movie were inferior to the ones in "King Kong versus Godzilla" and that the big green guy deserved to get his scaly butt kicked in the American version of the movie.

    At that moment, a shadowy figure leaned forward and joined into the discussion and described (in great detail)  the cinematic differences in the early Godzilla movies and in the current release. It was at that point that Skippy and Moriarty knew they  found their man. To Ohshee's credit, when he realized who he was talking to and that they planned to bring him back into the office, he didn't put up a struggle. Not that he could if he had wanted to. He had been literally living in the movie theater for the last four days eating Oriental take-out that he had delivered to the back door between showings of the movie and leftover popcorn and candy that had spilt on the floor. After sitting through 21 straight showings of the movie, he was ready to call it quits. After the show ( both Skippy and Moriarty enjoyed it- except for the "message" at the end ) they brought him back here to  the office where our Production Manager has begun to put together a schedule to "de-program" him... starting with getting him out of that Ninja outfit of his and back into a pair of blue jeans. This morning she informed us that she had gone to Ohshee's apartment and confiscated his complete stash of "chop-socky" and kick-boxing movies and now had him on a forced diet of 70's sitcoms. We know that this all sounds a bit cruel, but it's for his own good.

   One final note, as of this afternoon's meeting, the BladeMaster decided to return Ohshee's Ninja costume to him on the provision that he was only allowed to wear it around the office and to certain company outings. Things around here just keep getting stranger all the time.

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